Wow - I have so much to say about Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane. This is our second Ya-Ya Book Club pick, and I think it's going to generate some great conversation. For me, AAY is definitely the type of book that proves I can appreciate a book and rate it highly without actually "liking" it very much. It's extremely thought provoking with fascinating characters and complex subject matter - let's dive in!
AAY came highly recommended and I was very excited when I finally got off the library wait list. The story is centered around Kate & Peter - two childhood best friends/neighbors whose lives are dramatically affected by a violent accident between their two families. The book follows the lives of these two characters (who eventually fall in love) and their relationships and families over time. I found the most impressive feature to be the character development - each one made so many mistakes and mishandled so many situations throughout the book, but I loved the real sense of "humanity" and authenticity that Keane creates. The story examines the impacts that trauma, mental illness, and addiction have on a wide cast of characters but also shows how much time can play a part in healing (even when life feels irreparable).
Pros: When it comes to the heavy subject matter in the story I have very mixed feelings. I think one of the most important messages Keane sends to readers is the danger/harm that can come from ignorance and inability to openly confront problems (in this case addiction and mental illness). Without intending to, the characters allow situations they're working hard to run from to actually dominate their lives. I also loved that Keane makes it clear that everyone is undeniably human in their reactions and ways of handling the various situations - because they're complicated and often people don't know the best ways to help their struggling loved ones.
Cons: Quite honestly, I took issue with the way the characters struggling with addiction and mental illness were portrayed. Many people struggle with addiction and mental illness (both are diseases I have been exposed to in a number of ways in my own life), and I always appreciate books that shed light on these topics and help readers understand them. Unfortunately, I do not feel like this book did that in a fair way. Instead, I felt like Keane focused so much on the darkness that surrounds these diseases that she lost the human elements that make addiction and mental health so complicated. It felt like all of the good/happy/positive parts of the lives of the struggling characters were down played, and were only there to set the stage for how "badly" their diseases impacted themselves and those around them. It felt to me that their illnesses were portrayed as their defining characteristics without giving equal credit to the wonderful qualities that drew people to them in the first place (which is what makes these diseases complex). This is especially frustrating because these are issues that are widely stigmatized in day-to-day life which often leads to shame/fear that prevent people from seeking treatment.
Overall, I think this book deserves a solid 4 stars because I appreciate the complexity Keane brings into the story, but I really felt like it was a missed opportunity in a lot of ways. I still strongly encourage everyone to read it, if only because I think it's important to find books that provoke dialogue and reflection. I can't wait for our book group discussion, and please let me know what your thoughts/opinions were on this book as well!
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